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Can I get an Amen?

There are so many naysayers in this world–particularly in our communities, and in our personal lives that are just waiting to make us feel bad about ourselves. Can I get an AMEN? What makes a naysayer? Well, typically it is someone who is considerably more negative than positive, sees the glass pretty much empty and is dark and gloomy ALL the time. He or she may even display passive aggressiveness. It doesn’t matter what you do, how you do it or how lightly you tread, this person is out to bring you down no matter what. Oh yea, I just saw you shaking your head agreeing with me. These people are just lurking around waiting to rain on your parade. It almost seems like it brings them nasty fulfillment too. Ohhhh….there stands THAT person trying to pull YOU down, talking or influencing YOU out of what and where God wants YOU to be. Yep, there’s one of those nasty naysayers again! So how do we handle them? The easiest out is to turn and run! And I mean run as fast and as hard as you can. Avoidance may work. I’m guilty of that myself. I’ve been in the grocery store before and have literally hid out just to avoid someone because I didn’t have time to make small talk. Again, this is the simple selfish answer, but is it the Godly answer?

Matthew 5:43-44 “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Oh boy, here we go…Jesus says to love and pray for our enemies. But I don’t want to! Have you ever thought this? Can’t I just act like they (the enemy) don’t exist and make them invisible? I don’t want to work at building a relationship with someone who doesn’t seem to reciprocate love and certainly doesn’t come across as wanting a personal relationship with me either. So there, we’re even, right? Lord, don’t you see what I see? When someone has mutual agreement, it’s a good thing. And then there’s something that slaps you upside the head to remind you that this isn’t Christ-like. Our Heavenly Father has poured love into our lives to share, uplift and encourage. It’s not meant to withhold for a rainy day. We are challenged to love and pray for the unlovable.

1. List the constant naysayers in your life. Identify the capacity in which you know them (work, school, family, etc.).

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My Goliath

I finished up graduate school in my late twenties. I was offered a job at my alma mater. I’ll never forget the first day of school. As I walked down the hallway to my classroom, I kept repeating Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” The door swings open to my classroom and I felt a whirlwind of emotions—anxiousness, lack of confidence, low self-esteem. You name it, I thought every negative thing in the book about my competency level. I overheard students wondering who was the teacher, hoping that he or she was nice….then suddenly, I introduced myself as the instructor. The look on their faces was enough for me. Total disbelief. I looked like one of them! Young, trendy, and lacking experience, but somehow I had to dig deep and determine how I would earn their trust. Think about it- most professors are older, experienced, and very comfortable in their skin. Not me. My biggest fear was public speaking. A seasoned colleague began to peck away at me. This colleague was self-assured and experienced and seemed to enjoy intimidating people. I was hurt, confused, and degraded by the mere thoughts that my own colleague, who shared a love for health and wellness, was throwing darts at me rather than mentoring me. This person would deliberately do things to me and others that I just didn’t understand. I just couldn’t fathom treating people this way. I kicked around the idea that I would go far, far out of my way to avoid putting myself in situations that may lead to an emotional whirlwind. That was the simplest measure. I would escape to my office and hibernate there, keeping enough food and water stashed away that I wouldn’t need to come out and face this mean, terrible giant in my life.

I was also teaching a teen Sunday school class during this time. One particular lesson that was a major tipping point for me was over the exact scripture that is the focal point of this lesson. I had a Godly Ah-Ha moment! He was working in and through me as I shared this with my class. I had to practice what I was preaching and that’s exactly what I began doing. I made a deliberate point to walk by my colleague’s office as often as I could during the day. I would intentionally make eye contact so that I could say hello and ask how this person’s day was going. I began praying very hard for myself and for my colleague. I asked God to give me wisdom and words to speak and to let my actions and words be a direct reflection of His love. I wanted my mere presence to exude warmth. I prayed that God would break down the barriers between us and soften this person’s heart to allow love in. I prayed that this person would be able and willing to love and be loved. Let’s be honest, biting our tongues and being the better person is often difficult because again, we are imperfect humans, but I didn’t give up! I persevered. I felt like David and my colleague was my Goliath, but I wasn’t about to be defeated! Through prayer and supplication, love has moved another mountain. Today, I have a working relationship with this same person who was once my enemy and there’s something different evolving in this person’s life—it’s a God thing. There’s no other answer. Just as scripture teaches us, we must pray for our enemies. Love evolves over time. Don’t give up on people just as God never gives up on us! Rather than hide from your enemies, be an optimist in these situations. Find good in your naysayers–take the opportunity to shed light on darkness and be a living vessel for them. Instead of hiding, get out there and seek!

2. Go back and review your enemies list from question #1. What strategies will you implement into your life to begin the rebuilding process to improve these relationships and to share the love of God?

Love and Blessings,

4 Sisters  Blogging

Kendra, Tonia, Blake & Tiffany